Sir and i were talking about ex-lovers. He asks if they had ever had to deal with my hang-ups of my body image while in bed. i relate to my Husband that i had never been fully nude in front of former lovers. He is the only man i’ve ever been quasi comfortable with in being completely nude.
He looks at me, almost through me, and i suddenly feel awkward and self-conscious.
“Strip.” He gently commands.
“Take off all of your clothes and stand before me.”
Timidly, i take my top off and slide out of my skirt. i pause for a moment as His words sink in. Then i shyly slide my panties down my legs and step out of them.
i stand there demurely. my gaze cast downward. I can feel His eyes roam my body, drinking in the sight of me laid bare for Him.
“You are my wife.” He endearingly says.
“You should not feel self-conscious in front of me. I love you.”
i can feel the tears well up as His tender words wash over me.
“If you gain 30 pounds, I will love you. If you lose 30 pounds, I will not love you less. You are my wife.”
And the tears roll slowly over my cheeks.
“I love you and I find your body very pleasing. Come here.”
He pats a spot next to Him on the bed. Sheepishly, i crawl up beside Him. He wraps His right arm around me as His left hand compassionately pats my head.
He continues to caress my hair soothingly, holding me tight against His body.
“You know, sometimes you really are a little girl inside of a grown woman’s body.”
And i melt into Him.
Even after all that i have done, this Man still loves me, wants me and comforts me. Uncontrollably i sob, wishing i could erase all of my bad behavior.
The only phrase loudly trumpeting in my brain is, i love you. How i love this Man with all of my heart. How only He can make me feel purely confident. How with a gesture only He can make me feel like a little girl. His little girl.